last blog

I have now finished the whole book and just to let you all know the last habit 7 is Sharpen the Saw and it is about renewing your self and staying in an overall healthy state. As I believe I stated in my first blog I was reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey. I was reading this book for my leadership class. This blog is going to be a reflection on the book and a few things about the class. The 7 habits of Highly Effective Teens is a wonderful book I suggest to everyone no matter your age. All of the habits in the book are so basic yet so many of us only use a couple of them. To lean what you are missing and how to develop these habits you truly have to read this book not only did it tell you about the habit it told you how to take baby steps to developing the habit. With in this pages I have learned a lot of new things even though I thought I already new all of this stuff. I learned new applications for it, how to take baby steps to becoming more organized, I learned about Synergy which is more then your Win-Win its like a Big Win- Big Win way around things. This is a must read although there is a lot of comics and written for a younger audience it was a great book with great morals and as long as you can get by that I think you will really like this book. As much if not more then I did. As for the class I really enjoyed it, it had its hard times when I had to try and motivation some kids that had zero motivation and I had to bribe them with letting them do things that isn't aloud like Facebook they could send a message after so many sentences I think next year it would be good to teach the mentors how to motivation the mentees. I think that would be a huge help and plus if we new that we might have had more class time for us to work. This class has got me looking for ways to engage the younger grades with in the extra curricular activities to make high school fun instead of a chore they have to do. Over all I really like this class and I would suggest it to anyone. Thank you for reading this blog and I hope you liked it while it lasted.

Habit 6-Synergize

As all of you know there are people in your life who shun, tolerates and celebrate diversity. So I am going to tell you one person in my life for each and each one is very close to. My step dad shuns diversity because he has never taking the time to under stand it. Between me and you I think he is scared of it to. My brother tolerates most differences because he doesn't care but at the same time he doesn't go out of his was to understand and celebrate diversity. Finally is my mom she celebrates most all diversity she does have her limits but I hope in time those limits fade away. I personally look at myself as celebrating differences I think it is vital to have them because that is how some of the best ideas are made no two people are perfectly alike but they are equal with every other person in the world. After my test of what fruit I am which is really personality test I found that I am a grape. Which means I'm good at being reflective, sensitive, flexible,creative and i work well in groups. and i have trouble with giving exact answers, focusing on one thing and my organization is out the window. To use synergy there is a little out line to help you follow it and do the right thing it goes like this. define the problem or opportunity then seek to understand then to be understood. Next is brainstorm together to create new options and ideas. Lastly is to find the high way. An  example of that is a friend and I are wanting to start a company and we have different mission statements along with different names. His is to save money for college and his name is logic where as my idea is to use organic cotton and your the profits to help others in third world countries and  I would like the name to be Tranquility. We are now in to the brainstorm part and we have come up with creating a line called Tranquility  that holds those goals, making two different companies that are sister companies that could help each other out and as one company with two divisions  We only now need to find the high way to complete the synergy. You can apply this to all of your debates to come up with something that is Win-Win. So please everyone give it a try in your life the benefits are huge.

Habit 5-Seek First to Understand Then to be Understood

One skill I think 90% if not more people (including me) need to work on and that is to truly listen. I think the main reason so many of us need to work on this is because we think we are listening well but we really aren't. Have you even been being told a problem by your friend and once she says the problem you give her advise? Okay so you probably have but have you even been telling your problems and right once you have said the problem but before you get to talk about it your friend comes in and gives you advise on how to solve it, but all you wanted to do was talk about it? See how your friend thinks she is doing a good thing but advising you but in reality all you wanted to do was talk about it. Now you don't want to because the problem seems so simple to your friend well the reason its so simple is because you rarely get to finish your thought. The problem almost seems bigger when someone doesn't take the time to understand you doesn't it? Five bad listening traits that I think everyone demonstrate at lest sometimes are spacing out, pretending to listen, selective listening, word listening and self-centered listening (judging, advising, probing). I have the problem of spacing out even when I am really engaged in something I will space out not even noticing as if my brain says okay time for brake see ya in a few minutes  I have been working on it to try and stop my brain from taking so many brakes. When you practice genuine listening you are able to pick up what people aren't saying. Instead they are communicating it through their body language and there tone/feeling. I practice this when ever someone comes to me with a problem that way I can find out more then what they are saying with their words and the more knowledge i have the safe and  more understood they feel. This also helps you to build your RBA because if the other person feels you really listening they know you care and that is a deposit in their RBA bettering your relationship after all everyone whats to be heard even if they don't say it with there words there is more to a conversation then just the word exchanged I challenge all of you to practice genuine listening and find out what isn't being said.

Habit 4-Think Win-Win

Win-win conflict resolution is another great way tool to add to your RBA tool belt. The idea behind Win-Win is that everyone wins and no one is hurt in the end. Life does't have to be all about who is better then who you can work it out in a way that both of you win. Other bad ways of conflict resolution are win-lose lose-win and lose-lose whether you are striving to be beat the other person or you let others just walk over you or even worst of all if you cant with then your bringing the other person down with you are all bad ways to do things. All of those methods besides Win-Win are withdraws from your RBA that is why you want to look for an answer you are both happy with and example of this is me and my friend are wanting to start up a company that makes shirts just as a bit of extra money for college but we both have different names we would like to call it so what we are thinking is to make two companies that we both own that are sister companies and if one happens to get in the spot light then it can give a hand up to the other. Plus that way they can both have their separate goals and mission statements as a companies  Who do you think of when you think of win-win? I know for me I think of Craig Kielburger the founder of Free the Children where he is always striving to help others in need but at the same time try to benefit those who are helping I think the thing I admire most about him is his dedication and determination in helping those less fortunate then us. Now I want you to think what is your general life attitude when it comes to conflict I know mine is Win-Win. I also want to think how you use it in your life and think about someone who demonstrates that they don't have to be famous that person could be your mom brother or the family down the street. Just think about them and how they use it and see if you can learn for them.

The Relationship Bank Account

The Relationship Bank account works very similar to your personal bank account three posts back with a bit of a twist instead of you boosting your side you do things that boosts the other persons RBA that they have for you. With the RBA it demands that deposits happen often because after awhile they the deposited fades away imagine the Sims for a minute  You know when you are trying to get two Sims together and you have them talking for hours on end and you slowly see this bar filling up for how much they like the person its a lot like that and just like in the Sims if your people don't talk for awhile then they slowly stop liking each other the same goes in real life and that way you always need to be making deposits to keep the relationship healthy. Now lets think of a few very important relationships in your life Your friends, Siblings Parents/Guardians, Boyfriend/Girlfriend and your teachers whether past or present  How would you score these relationships over all out of five? Five being the highest and one being the lowest. I'll tell you my scores all of mine score in the four they are good but they all have room to improve and I can do this through their RBA that has my name on it. Ways I can do this is just talking to them, holding commitments I promised them, helping them when they need, Listen to them, say your sorry, be loyal, set clear expectations and doing favors for them. All of this can be big or small and you can use this to save relationships that are falling apart. I had a really hard time back in November with one of my best friends and it got to a point where she was just starting to ignore me but knowing how to fix relationships I was able to make small deposits and eventually worked my way up to larger ones and know we talk everyday like we used to. The worst withdraw I have ever made had to have been when a few months ago when I started to close myself off from everyone and I was only talk to my resent girlfriend and I used her like my escape from all my other problems (I never set those problems on her I would just hang out with her and it helped me to forget). As I was doing that though it looked like I was closing everyone because of my girlfriend which wasn't the case but with in that time period of about 2 weeks that felt like 2 months I had made withdraws from three different major groups of people in my life. My friends parents and sibling all at once and I was on my way to teachers. That has to be my biggest withdraw because it effected so many people. With small acts of kindness, caring and saying sorry I was able to rebuild all of those relationships back to strength and a few are stronger because of that. One small act of kindness that I have never forgot is when I was only young probably about seven and I was trying to by my Mom a coffee maker for her birthday I grabbed one off the shelf careful to make sure my mom didn't see. I had all my allowance in my pocket ready to go I went to go pay and then I found out I had miss calculated I didn't have enough money to by my mom the gift I was so said  I didn't know what to do and just as I was about to walk away with my head hung low in shame and sadness this wonderful women in line behind me ask the cashier how much extra I had left to pay and it was about $7 she said no problem Ill just pay for him. I was so happy I don't think I could have said thank you enough times! I found out after words my parents don't drink coffee go figure but we still have it almost 11 years later and it works! I would still to this day like to thank her one last time. Now after reading this you all should know how to repair damaged relationships so go out there and start making deposits in someone RBA. Also do some small acts of kindness they may only be small to you but they could be huge to others you never really know how much of a change you can make in someones day. Just try it!

Habit 3- First Things First

In habit 3 there is a chart called The Time Quadrants this is all about how you spend you time. Now take a minute to look at all four of them. Which one do you spend most of your time in? personally I spend most of my time in quadrant 1. Yepp you got me I'm a procrastinator and I'm horrible for it. But I'm working at shifting in to quadrant 2 the Prioritizer you know the guy who looks like he has an easy life because he plans every thing out that way he minimizes urgent things and has time for important things that aren't urgent like shaving and exercising. somethings I'm doing to get there is I got a planner and I'm using it, I'm doing things more ahead of time rather then last minute, and I'm planning ahead to work things out properly. I'm going to Challenge you to do the same. Another thing that works great with this is stepping out of your comfort zone. Like me I didn't want a planner because I was afraid of being judged for my planner have this little book with me all the time come on what high school guy does that? I stepped out but once you step out and in to the courage zone that is where the best things happen I mean there is risk out there but that is the funnest part with the highest return. Lets look at my two zones first my comfort zone procrastination  KD to eat, only driving on small roads, working at my job, staying with my friends, not reaching out, not asking for help and just having a sit in night. but now lets look at my courage zone (technically any thing out of my comfort zone is my courage zone) going on an adventure night with my friends, Talking to that girl, asking that girl out on a date when you have only talked to her once (happened with my girlfriend only talked to her once and in that chat I asked her on a date), asking my boss to give me the night off after being booked in for it, hitting bigger jumps on my snowboard, learning how to drift (it has saved me in this Canadian weather a few times now) this are all things that were/are out of my comfort range but many of them have given me a great return. Like asking that girl you don't know out on a date! So I encourage all of you to try and become a prioritizer and step out of your comfort zone and get a planer and a boyfriend/girlfriend!

Habit 2 Begin with the end in mind

To begin this blog I'm going to tell you where is see myself in a year. Do you know where you are in a year? What you've done in the past year what you feel like? What do you look like? This are all things I encourage you to think about while you read this post. Now then let me start this thought train off. In a year from now I see my self very happy and comfortable with who I am. I look pretty much the same just I'm hoping to have a cool hair cut by then I'm kind of done with this same old hair cut. I will have my smart serve and be working in the service industry at a place like Kelsey's or Fionn Maccool's. I see me saving up lots of money for schooling and to keep my car in good working order that I cant afford right now. In a year from now I see my heat working in my car rather then having to drive with my windows open in January to prevent my car from freezing on the inside of my car. I see me very happy with my girlfriend along with having a work out schedule to keep me healthy not to get ripped only to maintain good health. That is where I see myself where do you see yourself? Next lets look at mission statements this can be a poem a song a few words or even a word or even a phrase like don't be a fool rap your tool, No I'm only kidding about that don't use that some examples are "My mission statement ( Nothing less)", " Care, Love, Fight, Rock" and my personal mission statement is "love, care, strength, kindness, helpfulness and finally the best me I can be" as you can see they don't have to be long they are your values and a reminder of them. This come in handy because if you ever have to make a big choice and you don't know what to do compare it to your mission statement and that will help you to make the right choice for you. A great exercise to strengthen your mission statement is to create goals that will lead to or support your mission statement. My goals are to volunteer more and help as many people as I can whether that is through volunteering or giving someone change in hopes that it will go towards feeding them. Being able to hold strong for my friends when they need me most. and finally to do RAK or Random Acts of Kindness. So I leave you with these questions. where are you in a year? What is your mission statement? lastly what goals do you have to support your mission statement?