Habit 5-Seek First to Understand Then to be Understood

One skill I think 90% if not more people (including me) need to work on and that is to truly listen. I think the main reason so many of us need to work on this is because we think we are listening well but we really aren't. Have you even been being told a problem by your friend and once she says the problem you give her advise? Okay so you probably have but have you even been telling your problems and right once you have said the problem but before you get to talk about it your friend comes in and gives you advise on how to solve it, but all you wanted to do was talk about it? See how your friend thinks she is doing a good thing but advising you but in reality all you wanted to do was talk about it. Now you don't want to because the problem seems so simple to your friend well the reason its so simple is because you rarely get to finish your thought. The problem almost seems bigger when someone doesn't take the time to understand you doesn't it? Five bad listening traits that I think everyone demonstrate at lest sometimes are spacing out, pretending to listen, selective listening, word listening and self-centered listening (judging, advising, probing). I have the problem of spacing out even when I am really engaged in something I will space out not even noticing as if my brain says okay time for brake see ya in a few minutes  I have been working on it to try and stop my brain from taking so many brakes. When you practice genuine listening you are able to pick up what people aren't saying. Instead they are communicating it through their body language and there tone/feeling. I practice this when ever someone comes to me with a problem that way I can find out more then what they are saying with their words and the more knowledge i have the safe and  more understood they feel. This also helps you to build your RBA because if the other person feels you really listening they know you care and that is a deposit in their RBA bettering your relationship after all everyone whats to be heard even if they don't say it with there words there is more to a conversation then just the word exchanged I challenge all of you to practice genuine listening and find out what isn't being said.